Let’s Try This Again

This week is being spent in Penang since I’m touring to support the release of my new album “Awesome Songs From An Awesome Guy” which if you all didn’t know is getting some major radio airtime and is expected to break all sorts of sales records. It’s been described by some critics as a return to form after a disappointing sophomore album last year which only yielded 5 number one hits compared to my debut album, which was voted the best album in history by everybody in the entire world. Managing to combine such disparate genres as classical, country & western, rap, techno and pop diva ballads, my new album is a must have for anyone with ears.

Not really. I made up the whole last paragraph apart from the being in Penang bit. Instead of promoting my non-existent album though, it’s for some sort of work-related seminar thing. You can guess which one I’d rather be doing instead.

Filed under: Uncategorized , making shit up, Penang, work is boring

August 6, 2009 • 11:04 pm 0

Issues with my Mac products.

06082009317 Issue number one: look at what happened to my Macbook battery. Isn’t that sad? As you can clearly see, it’s been warped by intense heat. I’d make a pun about “warped drives” but it wouldn’t make much sense since it’s the battery and not a hard drive. Also it’s hard to work in a reference to space travel when talking about laptops. Lack of punning skills is one of the many reasons why I never became a headline writer for English tabloids. Anyway I started to notice it curving outward from the bottom of my laptop a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t think it would get any worse so I never took it out. I’m guessing if I left it in my laptop for any longer it would have sprung out quite violently and impaled me in the crotch. Good thing that didn’t happen, eh everyone? Eh? Anyway! Lesson learned! Have to get a new battery.

Issue B: my ipod. A couple of months ago I got myself a 120GB ipod classic, to upgrade from my previous 80GB model. For a while everything worked like normal and I would listen to my music while driving or before going to sleep or whatever. But then occasionally what would happen is I’d be listening to some awesome music let’s say Kelly Clarkson Led Zeppelin and the song would skip forward automatically before it reaches the end of the song, for no reason. This doesn’t happen a lot, but it happens enough times for it to get extremely annoying and I’d let out a few expletives because I can’t sing along to Kelly Clarkson Led Zeppelin anymore. Does this happen to anyone else? Oh well, it’s just a minor inconvenience. At least it’s not exploding.

Filed under: Uncategorized , Bad puns, computers, I use Mac, ipods, Kelly Clarkson, Led Zep

August 5, 2009 • 11:08 pm 1

Instant messaging conversations with the brother.

An old conversation that was archived on the googles from a few years ago:

5:05 PM Ezanee: hey!

are you getting me today!

punk!

5:08 PM me: no

5:09 PM m n d r

hey

what do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public

Ezanee: punk!

private tooter, bitch!

hahahhahahahha

me: ahahaha

5:10 PM jokes for teens

Ezanee: jokes for babies

babies named adrian

me: ok

not me then

5:11 PM because although my name is adrian i am no baby

Ezanee: babies named Adrian Gires

me: still not me

Ezanee: who were born in 1983

on July 9th

me: that baby does not exist

that baby

5:12 PM is

Ezanee: whatever man you’re no fun

me: YOU

Ezanee: you suck

me: i’m no fun huh

lalalalala

hey

Ezanee: you’re no fun

fear of sleep

5:13 PM me: ezanee i’m going to put “cheese” again on your profile don’t delete it okay

Man who knows what we were talking about.

Filed under: Uncategorized , Bad jokes, cheese, Family fun, the brother

• 8:31 pm 2

Goodbye, Xabi Alonso.

So unfortunately it’s finally happened, after a summer full of speculation and rumour: Xabi Alonso is leaving Liverpool to join the latest version of the Galacticos at Real Madrid. Where is Real Madrid getting the money for all these players anyway? How are they not on the brink of bankruptcy yet? Anyway for the past five years Alonso has been one of my favorite players at Liverpool, for all the usual footballing reasons (world-class passing, technique, etc. etc.) but also for completely arbitrary reasons (like the coincidental fact that he bears more than a passing resemblance to Jason Bateman) and I was hoping that he’d stay a lot longer, but in a way it’s understandable that he would go given that Rafael Benitez was more than willing to sell him last season in order to get Gareth Barry, which was one of the more questionable decisions made by Benitez as manager. He doesn’t often get it wrong, but a lot of people (myself included) thought that Xabi Alonso was a far superior player to Barry and didn’t want to see him leave. In the end Barry didn’t even end up at Liverpool, instead choosing to join the newly rich Manchester City. A waste of time for all involved, then. Alonso’s midfield partnership with Javier Mascherano (another world-class player who might be leaving this summer) was one of the main reasons for Liverpool’s 2nd place finish behind ManYoo in the league last season.

The bright side to this though is that Liverpool will have 30 million pounds for a replacement, but it won’t be easy to find someone who can fill in the void right away. The league title looks unlikely for next season though. Sigh sigh sigh.

Filed under: Uncategorized , Football, Jason Bateman, Liverpool FC, Real Madrid, Xabi Alonso

• 7:20 am 0

Video post again.

From his most recent album, here’s Beck with Modern Guilt. I still love Beck even though his past few albums haven’t really been that interesting compared to his “Odelay”-”Sea Change” period. That and the whole Scientology thing. But you know, to each his own. This song is pretty good.